Concerns in Relationships
Some Behaviors in relationships (whether between friends,romantic partners. co-workers or any other relationship) can be harmful. It doesn't matter whether the people involved have good intentions toward each other or not, it is important to protect yourself if you are being hurt by harmful behaviors. Even if the person has been hurt themselves in the past, or is vulnerable, even if you believe they care about you, it does not make it OK for them to:
- Try to control what you do and where you go, either directly asking you not to, or indirectly by making subtle comments that might influence the choices you make
- Communicate or act in a way that means you often feel bad (e.g. ashamed, confused, embarrassed, angry, sad or weak) when you interact with them
- Ask unreasonable things from you like paying out more than you can afford, breaking the law, putting yourself and others at risk, or doing things which make you unhappy
- Encourage you to be secretive or cut yourself off from people
- Tempt you with things whether it is money, friendship, access or anything else to keep you coming back to them
- Take advantage of your feelings like sadness, loneliness or anger to persuade you that you need to join a specific group or ideology
- Set you 'tests' that you need to pass to show how much you support, admire or care for them personally, or how much you believe in / support their cause or organisation
- Try to coax or pressure you or someone else into doing something you wouldn't usually, whether that relates to money, faith, sex, political beliefs, your relationship, or anything else
- Directly hurt or harm you
If you feel worried about something in one of your own relationships, or you are concerned about a relationship someone else is in, please don't hesitate to talk to someone about it, we are here to help.
You can talk to:
- University askUS services,including Counselling&Wellbeing and the Chaplaincy Team
- Outside the University you could talk to the Victim Support service or the Samaritans
A video explaining Consent.